KICK STREAMER ONYXDENJI HANDS OUT FRIED CHICKEN IN THE HOOD "FOR CONTENT." THE HOOD DECLINED THE CONTENT. ALSO HIS PHONE. ◆ COUPLE PAYS $1.5 MILLION FOR A HOUSE ACROSS FROM AN HBCU, DISCOVERS HBCU STUDENTS LIVE THERE. ◆ SIX CHARLOTTE COPS HELD A CONTEST TO SEE WHO COULD PULL OVER THE MOST BLACK DRIVERS. ONE OF THEM SAID THE GROUP CHAT "SOUNDS LIKE A CLAN RALLY." HE WASN'T COMPLAINING. ◆ MAN STORMS BLACK STUDENT WATCH PARTY WITH AN INCENDIARY DEVICE. UNC POSTED AN INSTAGRAM STORY. ◆ MAN DUMPS COFFEE ON BLACK WOMAN'S CAR, TELLS HER SHE BELONGS IN A ZOO. HE LEFT IN A TOYOTA TACOMA. ◆ COCO GAUFF GETS BOMBARDED WITH RACIST ABUSE AFTER DISPUTED POINT. THE UN HAD TO SAY SOMETHING. ◆ UKRAINE BOMBED THE SERVER FARM RUNNING RUSSIA’S BOT ARMY AND NOW NOBODY’S ONLINE CALLING YOU A N-WORD ◆ TRUMP SAID IRAN SHOULD "TAKE OUT" LOS ANGELES AND SAN DIEGO AND THE CROWD CHEERED ◆ HOLLYWOOD JUST HANDED ONE WHITE GUY CONTROL OF EVERY CHANNEL YOUR PARENTS WATCH, EVERY SHOW YOU GREW UP ON, AND THE PLATFORM REPORTING ON ALL OF IT ◆ CCU STUDENTS DEMAND CONSEQUENCES AFTER WHITE STUDENTS FILM THEMSELVES SAYING THE N-WORD THEN SEND IT DIRECTLY TO A BIRACIAL STUDENT TO HARM THEM ◆ FLORIDA WOMAN CLIMBED INTO A GARBAGE TRUCK, TURNED IT OFF, CLAIMED THE WORKER PUNCHED HER, AND WAS ARRESTED. THE WORKER WAS COLLECTING HER TRASH. ◆ SIX ILLINOIS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS MADE MONKEY SOUNDS AT BLACK OPPONENTS DURING A FOOTBALL GAME. THE SCHOOL LET THEM WITHDRAW INSTEAD OF EXPELLING THEM.
Incidents Filed 48
This Week 12
Managers Summoned 1,203
BBQs Policed 312
Karens Named 889
All data self-reported. Somehow.
HOA Horrors Satirical April 1, 2026

HOA President Files Noise Complaint Against Wind — Actual Meteorological Wind

Filed by the SAW Incident Desk

Roger P.

Roger P. of the Sycamore Glen HOA submitted a formal noise complaint to the city citing “persistent ambient sound disruption” from wind traveling through a neighbor’s wind chimes. The city’s noise ordinance specialist confirmed that wind is not subject to code enforcement. Roger submitted a follow-up complaint about the specialist’s tone.

The wind continues. The wind is unaware of the complaint. The wind does not care.

More Incidents
FAFO
KICK STREAMER ONYXDENJI HANDS OUT FRIED CHICKEN IN THE HOOD “FOR CONTENT.” THE HOOD DECLINED THE CONTENT. ALSO HIS PHONE.
A small-time Kick streamer took fried chicken into a Black neighborhood, reportedly in Massachusetts, to film reactions. He got a reaction. He also got jumped, beaten, and separated from his phone. The internet, for once, was not divided.
Massachusetts (reportedly) · October 2026
FAFO
COUPLE PAYS $1.5 MILLION FOR A HOUSE ACROSS FROM AN HBCU, DISCOVERS HBCU STUDENTS LIVE THERE.
A couple bought a $1.5 million house across the street from Huston-Tillotson, a 150-year-old HBCU in historically Black East Austin, then started leaving notes on students' cars and boxing in a Black professor with their trash bins. When a senior asked them about it, the woman screamed that it was her neighborhood. She'd been there a few weeks.
East Austin, TX · October 5, 2026
Hall of Shame
SIX CHARLOTTE COPS HELD A CONTEST TO SEE WHO COULD PULL OVER THE MOST BLACK DRIVERS. ONE OF THEM SAID THE GROUP CHAT “SOUNDS LIKE A CLAN RALLY.” HE WASN’T COMPLAINING.
Investigators found the group chat by accident while pulling data off another cop's phone. Inside: a competition over who could stop the most Black drivers, the N-word on repeat, and one officer's observation that the thread "sounds like a clan rally." Six officers face firing. None have been named. Nobody has mentioned reviewing their arrests.
Charlotte, NC · October 13, 2026
Lawsuit Watch
MAN STORMS BLACK STUDENT WATCH PARTY WITH AN INCENDIARY DEVICE. UNC POSTED AN INSTAGRAM STORY.
In the span of two days, a group of students of color were harassed on a campus tour and a man with an "incendiary device" stormed a Black student organization's watch party. UNC's response was an Instagram story that deleted itself after 24 hours.
Chapel Hill, NC · October 2, 2026
Public Meltdown
MAN DUMPS COFFEE ON BLACK WOMAN’S CAR, TELLS HER SHE BELONGS IN A ZOO. HE LEFT IN A TOYOTA TACOMA.
A disagreement over a parking spot ended with a white man dumping coffee on a Black woman's car, spitting on it, and informing her that she belonged in a zoo. He drove away in a Toyota Tacoma. The internet has his plate number.
Maryland · August 30, 2026
Hall of Shame
COCO GAUFF GETS BOMBARDED WITH RACIST ABUSE AFTER DISPUTED POINT. THE UN HAD TO SAY SOMETHING.
A disputed call at a tennis match in China set off a wave of racist abuse so severe that the United Nations had to step in. Coco Gauff lost her next match because she felt like she might faint. The internet was still at it.
Beijing, China · October 7, 2026