America’s Premier Source for Caucasian Chaos
Sounds About White is a satirical news publication dedicated to the tireless documentation of a very specific, very consistent pattern of behavior. We didn’t create the news. We just gave it a section header.
Founded on the principle that if you’re going to have a bad day at a Starbucks, a neighborhood watch meeting, or a public park, someone should at least file a report — we are that someone.
Our Mission
To bear witness. To hold the record. To make sure that when a grown adult calls the police on a child selling lemonade, history does not look away.
Our Methodology
We read the news so you don’t have to explain it to your white coworkers. Every incident is sourced, categorized, and filed with the seriousness it deserves — which is to say, very seriously, with a headline in all caps.
Our Staff
The SAW Incident Desk operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, because unfortunately, so do the incidents.
A Note on Satire
Some of what you read here is satirical. Some of it isn’t. We trust you’ll know the difference. If you don’t, that’s also a story.